Spinal Fluid 101

I went to the neurologist today. Still had a headache although not as intense as before and just overall crappy feeling. The good thing is that he seemed pretty confident as to what was causing it. Bad thing is that there's really only one or two things to do about it. He believes I have a spinal leak from my surgery. I had a spinal instead of general anesthesia and I guess sometimes the hole doesn't heal fully or something and your spinal fluid actually leaks out of your spine into your body. When this happens the pressure in your spine and around your brain (because they are connected) drops and your brain which usually floats in the spinal fluid starts to sink your head causing a lot of pressure. He said the pressure at the base of the spine is around 36 pounds when standing, and drops to about 6 when lying down which is why lying flat is better and standing upright would often make me feel as if there were a large action figure trying to kick it's way out of my head. So the solution to this is one: let enough time go by and it will go away or two: go in for another surgery in which you get a blood patch where they take some of your blood and inject it into your spine where you had the spinal. I guess this helps it to heal but is pretty invasive and of course, punctures the spine again. Since mine is already dropped in intensity I am going to try waiting it out for a couple of more weeks and he gave me something new to try for the pain that is often diagnosed for seizes and I guess helps nerve pain. So for anyone who has not followed this dramatic story this is about four weeks now of a constant headache, two of it pretty intense. Oh well. There are people worse off.

These pots are from the firing before last and are just okay. I was thinking about a lot of the pots I have in my seconds area (almost all the pots I have made thus far) and these are two of them. There is nothing inherently wrong with them except they are just not what I am looking for and they don't really represent the direction I am heading. Kind of like when you have a snack and you don't feel satisfied. You had the wrong snack and you still feel hungry. I just feel kind of empty about them but I can recognize them as moderately attractive. Many people do not understand this and think I am just too critical of myself and my work.

This line of thinking is incorrect. The first obvious problem with this is that if I am not critical (I think it's important to see this word more positively) and treat everything I make like it is successful, then I will never grow and find my voice. Just because something is okay does not mean that it speaks for me. I guess it is something you either understand or you do not. I think we are so trained in this culture to treat everyone and everything one makes as precious and special that we have often lost the skill of critical thinking and accepting failure as part of the road to success or just part of the road. You can't become emotionally attached to everything. You have to be able to let it go. Everyone and everything can't be a winner. So these are a couple of my not bad looking, but not what I am looking for pots.

Chow for now.

Who the !$@#$ is Deb Woods?

This may seem like another non-pottery related blog, but if you stick with me long enough you will see that it is indeed. These images from Maggie Taylor are from the shop calendar at the silversmiths where I work part time. I'm posting them because I think they are pretty cool. No other reason. I don't really have new pots to post because I have been either feeling like crap or working at my (day, other, paying, real, interfering--choose one) job. After work today I watched a movie named "Who the !@#$ is Jackson Pollock". It's about a woman truck driver who finds a painting at a thrift store and buys it for 5$. She hates it, the woman who she was going to give it to hates it, and it ends up in a yard sale where an art teacher tells her she might have a real Jackson Pollock on her hands to which she replies "who the !@#$ . . ." . She spends the next ten years (and still I think) trying to prove that this painting she hates is real. The art world does not believe it is real, but she is told if it is, it is worth about fifty million dollars. At some point she is offered two million dollars which she turns down; on principal she says. Mmm-hmm. Yup. Later she is offered nine million I think which she also turns down. This woman is in her seventies. But I didn't write this to talk about greedy truck drivers or arrogant art dealers.

I was thinking about all the pots I discard because I hate them, legitimately or otherwise. I have made stuff that is just butt-ugly, god-awful, I don't want anyone to know I made it, terrible. I either smash them or throw them in a bucket. I usually know, but not always, that it's really bad if Adam loves it. His taste is not quite . . . the same as mine. And I wonder how I can trust the aesthetic opinion of someone who's favorite shade of blue is more commonly known as -- tarp. No offense Adam. And I think about this painting that Pollock very possibly painted, but maybe did not love enough to put his signature on and maybe even discarded. Can it be claimed to be legitimate? Possibly. Should it be claimed to be valuable? I don't know. How fair is it to the artist and his legacy to associate him with something that he himself may not have valued. I hate the idea of someone holding up one of my pots that I despised and attributing it to me. I once let my husband take some of my seconds to use at the restaurant he was working at (he's a chef) with strict instructions to tell no one where they came from. Well anyways, it just got me thinking. But I could be a hypocrite because I have lately started selling some of my seconds. I am very conflicted about this, but money is sometimes needed. Given my opinion on this matter however, I may have to think some more and either re-evaluate my opinion or smash a little harder.

Knife Skills 101

This is a completely non-pottery post. It's about another lesson in survival skills from my husband Adam. Adam used to be a Marine, which means in his mind he is still a Marine. As a result he has a lot of information in his head about what to do in the event of an attack. I don't even remember how this came up yesterday morning, but next thing I know he is up and giving me a demonstration in how to defend myself in the event of a knife attack and how to do my attacking more efficiently. This is not just his idea by the way, he actually took a class in the Marines called Knife Skills 101. This is about the fifth, sixth, twentieth, I don't know, survival lesson I have had by the way. I'd like to say that I appreciate it and that they will come in handy, because I'm sure this knowledge would benefit me if I could only remember the other lessons. But if I am involved in a knife fight within the next few weeks, while this information is fresh in my mind, I think I will be a formidable opponent. If I just remember to lead with my other arm (to protect my good throwing arm) and keep my knife close to my body . . .

Listening Within

I loosely had a goal yesterday of maybe throwing 60 mugs. I got to 46 but I wasn't feeling so hot so not too bad.

I was reading something last night which I thought applied aptly to pottery making. I know in my own work it has been a bit of a struggle to give myself permission to take chances or try something new, worried that the result might not be successful, people might not like it, almost like worried about embarrassment or something. I've heard and read a few things that have really changed my way of thinking in the last few months.

One was on an NPR program and they were interviewing an artist whose medium was nails. That's all he ever used for his sculptures were nails. The thing I took away from that interview was a comment he made that by limiting himself to such an extent he became truly inspired and creative. I imagine once you think you are out of ideas of what to do with nails, is probably when you really start to get ideas. That's when I decided to get rid of a lot of my glazes and limit myself to four or five (I had twelve going I think). This is already having a noticeable, positive effect on my work.

Another thing I heard somewhere was the idea that no one had to see something you have made unless you make the decision to put it out there. That your only audience has to be yourself. That idea really freed me up to try new ideas because if they don't work, who cares. I don't have to sell it, I don't even have to show it.

I also used to believe that I had to make all these items. Not forms so much as items. I have been spending a lot of time going through my old Ceramic Monthlys and I have observed that the interviewer often will say something like: so and so's forms, or the forms so and so makes and I realized that I don't think that's it? How boring or whatever, on the contrary I found myself thinking how lucky and freeing and I realized one day as I was reading that there was no reason this couldn't be me. How enlightening! I can make whatever I want! I like making ovals, I like making cups, I like making bowls, I like making teapots and if those are the only forms I make for the rest of my life then that is my choice and it is okay. That is very freeing, to let go of the idea that you HAVE to do something, or that you SHOULD be doing this or that.

So last night I was reading and I thought this was very inspiring. The author is Erich Schiffmann and the book is "Yoga, the Spirit and Practice of Moving Into Stillness". He's talking about his experience writing the book and he says: ". . . that spontaneous intuitive revelation flows into your mind, when you pay attention inwardly, are receptive, and listen . . . to move into stillness in order to be guided from within, and then to be brave enough, and willing, to do as the within is prompting you to do-even when you cannot explain your behavior to yourself or others. In this way you will be an inspired, inspiring, and meaningful prescence".

The Bomb Boule

Here is one of the two loaves I made with my new sourdough starter. This is a 100% whole wheat bread, except for the starter which I have made with unbleached white bread flour. I'm really surprised how good the flavor is with these loaves. For a new starter there is a nice tang and it did a fine job in raising the dough. If anyone is interested in pursuing sourdough bread making the BEST book that I know of to get is "Breads from the La Brea Bakery" by Nancy Silverton. If you do what she instructs you will be making bread like the kind you thought you could only buy. Another book to check out is one a friend gave me called "World Sourdoughs From Antiquity" by Ed Wood. Another book I have which I havn't used as much but like having because it's kind of an earthy baking book is "The Tassajara Bread Book" by Edward Espe Brown.

Unfortunately I am not feeling well again today. It was my intention to throw about 60-75 mugs and finish them Monday. I'm still going to try but feeling less than enthusiastic about it now. I don't usually make so many mugs at one sitting but thought I'd try. It's a lot of handles to put on the next day. Adam said if I made 60 mugs he would make me breakfast tomorrow, and if I made 100 he would take me out for breakfast. I not very gratefully told him that that didn't seem worth it to me and that I would make my own breakfast and less mugs. I'm not very nice sometimes.

Oval pot construction

This will be obvious and boring to the potters out there, but to my friends or family it may be mildly entertaining, so this is how I put together an oval pot, in a very abbreviated form. Above is a pot that we will pretend doesn't have a bottom yet, because this is the wrong picture. Pretend it is just walls.

Then I flip it over and score the bottom to help it stick to the slab (sheet) of clay that I have already rolled out on my slabroller (think really big pasta machine that cost about 700$ more).

Flip the only walls pot over and set on the slab which I have sprayed with water. I carefully jiggle it down firmly onto the slab because we want it to stick really well so there will be no cracking later. After I cut around the base of the pot and smooth the outside and inside to hopefully make it look as if the pot were born this way, and not the horrid result of a really bad plastic surgeon.

Two little handles made from a coil of clay that has been flattened and shaped a little.

And like magic, the finished pot. I pre-decorated this one with some lines I drew into the clay. I made 15 of these today (threw them yesterday, but finished today) but they are not all alike. The handles vary, only half have lines drawn in them, and the general shapes are different, but all oval.

I'm really looking forward to glazing these pots. I am trying something different. I've done a lot of testing and it you look back to the post from June 16, "Electric and Lovin' it" you get an idea of the approach I will be using to glaze many if not most of these pots.

Another day in paradise

Well, if you are into the sort of thing like holidays like Adam who is walking around the kitchen singing about the fourth of July, then happy fourth. If you are more like me and are growing weary of your Adam telling you to have some fun today because it's a holiday, then happy Friday.

Pots, tools and smelly stuff

The other day I was going through my shard buckets looking for anything I might want to sell at my super-discount-out with the old-in with the new pottery and yard sale and I came across this old mug I handbuilt about two years ago. It's not the greatest mug in the world but I decided I wanted to keep it. Most of the stuff is broken-on purpose. I throw the rejects into the buckets with great gusto.

I finally threw some things again today. I can't tell you how tired I am. These pots only weigh 1.25 lbs. and it kicked my butt! I have lost a lot of strength over the last six weeks of not working. I feel like one of those sick people in the movies who has to shoosh everyone out of the room because she needs to rest. That is what I am going to do next. These are going to be oval shaped pots. They don't have bottoms so many of them began their transformation as I cut them off their bats. I will roll out some slabs tomorrow morning to use as bottoms after I re-shape the pot. Maybe I will photograph the process for the billions of non-potters who are reading my blog. It promises to be fascinating.


Some covered jars I made several weeks ago.

More covered jars. They remind me of baby bottles. I did a demonstration to that effect for Adam including a little "wah".


This is my newborn baby Sourdough Starter. It is about thirteen days old and we are very proud of it! It is all bubbly and stinky and in a few days I will make some delicious bread or bagels or english muffins or some other delectable delight with it. Some people have had cultures (starters) for decades or more than a hundred years. If you take care of them they will last literally forever and you just keep using it and hopefully it keeps getting better and better. A few years ago I had an amazing one going. It made the BEST bread. One day I was vigorously stirring some flour into it and the gallon jar I was keeping it in shattered, as did my heart.