Debbie And The Horrible, Not So Good, Very Bad State Of Mind

You would think that something awful has happened today but it has not. I am feeling sooo defunct in the optimism department about making a living doing this thing. I can not tell you what a bummer (I suppose some of you know) it is to feel like you have spent so much money, and invested so much time for nothing. I got this check in the mail today for 59.00. Whoopee. Man does that make it all worth it. I just went and switched my old work out for my new at two places local I have it. I picked up sooo much old work. It was really depressing. There was a time I dropped that stuff off and felt really good about it. What does that say about the stuff I left today? Am I gonna be picking that up in six months as well and thinking maybe it sucks after all? So now I gotta head down to my studio and work with a very bad attitude, feeling very uninspired, and wondering how long it will be before I head back to the restaurants. At least I had a steady paycheck.

Who's making this girly-looking pottery anyway?

I have mixed feelings about this firing. There are some things I really like, like these two pieces here, and some that just doesn't do it for me. It's so frustrating. I have to start thinking of all my work as test pieces so I don't become too disappointed when they don't work out. I know eventually I will have more success than disappointment-I've already seen a shift in that direction-but I am really looking forward to the ratio of great to icky to increase. I think I'm at about 50% now. Is it too much to ask for 90? So I am really still loving this blue/creamish yellow combo above. Kind of a fluke test I did a while back, and I consistently love it. I just hope the buying public agrees.


This is kind of fun I think. I really like the blue and black. I am skeptical that it will sell well, so I don't think I will invest too much inventory in the "line" until I see some movement from shelves. Not much interesting to report in my life. Adam is back from Chicago, which means I don't have to bring Daisy out at night now-oh yeah-it also means I get the pleasure of his fabulous company (he reads this so I gotta throw that in). Another rainy day in New Hampshire. I only wish I were camping and could hear the raindrops on my tent. That would be perfect.

Spotty McGee

Just a little mug. One of the ones that had the handles I was working on. It's also made with that clay I was testing. I really like the clay a lot. The only thing that is making me hesitate about making it is that my main glaze, the yellowy one on this cup, comes out kind of yellowy instead of orangy. It's not bad, but different. I have four bowls with this clay, that I think I will test the glaze with different thicknesses and see what happens, and then go from there.

My kiln is cooling now. Tomorrow I will weep tears of sorrow, or joy. Not feeling so good today. Can't stop sneezing and just feel achy. I'm watching my grandson so I'm just hoping to have a chill night with him. Got a little Ghostbusters action on the tube which he likes. Adam's in Chicago until tomorrow so I've been a single gal for a couple of days. I'll be sure to post some photos of today's firing over the weekend. See ya later.

Tom Cruise and tumblers

I had the same issue with the washed out black on these tumblers. But I hope to have better luck next time with what I'm learning from the book.

Three more tumblers. I love making tumblers for some reason.

So I've decided to forgive Tom Cruise. I've had a bit of a grudge against him now for a while. Maybe two years. It all started because of a little conflict on South Park. I've watched the show enough to have an idea of the humor, much of it juvenile, tasteless and not funny. Much of it juvenile, tasteless and really hilarious.

The thing I like about South Park is that they make fun of everything and everyone, and like it or not, sometimes they are dead-on with the views they present. They spent an entire episode mocking what can easily be seen as the ridiculousness of blindly believing in the story of the beginning of Mormonism without questioning. However, they also end the episode kind of saying, but hey, we should all tolerate each others beliefs. I'm probably telling you what you already know, but they make fun of every religion, every race, every idea of sex and what ever else might be out there.

So when the episode "Trapped in the Closet" satirizing Scientology came around, no one should have been surprised, or any less, or more offended, than by any other episode. Certainly not Isaac Hayes, who for nine years had no problem participating in a show while they mocked every other religious belief. A few months after the episode aired, he asked to be released from his contract with the show because he felt that making fun of someone's (his) religion was intolerant and bigoted. I personally think he was being a hypocrite (no offense to his memory or him personally) , but it was his choice.

Enter Tom Cruise (also a Scientologist) who was portrayed in the episode. Now this next detail is why I lost a lot of respect for him and began a two year boycott of his movies (I still haven't seen MI 3, although I love Philip Seymore Hoffman and wanted to see it for his performance alone). Cruise took his outrage to another level. He threatened Paramount saying that unless they agreed they would not rebroadcast the episode that he would not promote the MI3 movie. This just really bothered me, because anytime I see someone trying to promote censorship it just outrages me-a good topic in itself for another day.

So the other day we went to see Tropic Thunder, a movie that has had it's own share of criticism stemming from jokes at the expense of people with mental disabilities. I kind of cringed at some of the things said, so I can see why some might be offended-some people were also outraged because Robert Downey Jr. was playing a black man (which by the way he was great in-as usual). But I'm digressing. The surprise performance in the movie was by none other than Mr. Tom Cruise himself. If you don't know he's in this movie going in, it might actually take you a minute to realize who he is. He does a really great job with his character and I found myself enjoying the performance, and thinking it was time to let go of a grudge. We are all, after all, human, imperfect little people, and even the super-humans like Cruise sometimes do and say regrettable things (regrettable in my opinion anyway).

So I think I will finally rent MI3, and get on with my next boycott. If I could only stop eating meat and cheese again . . . talk about a hypocrite!

Maybe I'm so cold today because my reflections are POLARized-get it?

I don't think I've put these up yet-if I have, then you get to see them twice. This handled pot is one of the only ones that came out okay.

I am reading a book my father Dennis sent me. It is called Light, Science and Magic and is by Fil Hunter, Steven Biver and Paul Fuqua. It's a great book, and if you are interested in learning to photograph your own pots, then this book will likely improve your photos and the ease with which you can make them happen; I know it has already helped me a lot and I have much more still to read.

I learned an interesting thing this morning. I have been having a really difficult time photographing my black pots, like the one above. They look washed out and really difficult to control the reflections on them. Well, I think I now know why, and what I can do about it. I can't possibly explain what I have read thus far, but enough to say that there are several different kinds of light, and, interestingly enough, different types of reflections, and different ways to control them. I think the reflection I am getting off my black glaze is a polarized reflection-which is why I can't make it go away. Now, a far better photographer than myself might be able to deal with this differently-or they might do the same. What I might have to do is to put a polarizing filter over my lens and if it is indeed the type of reflection I am getting, it should solve the problem. It won't help if I am wrong-it will only solve polarized reflection issues . . . but . . . this next thing is fascinating.

You can create polarized reflections by polarizing your lightsource. For example, if I have a direct reflection on a pot, a polarized filter will not change it. However, if I were to put a polarized film over my light, the reflections the light created would then be polarized, and would then be able to be controlled by a polarized filter over my camera lens. I don't know why I would ever do that, but it is cool to know and understand. Knowledge is power!

It ain't no five-dollar t.v.

Yesterday I had a last minute porch sale to try and unload my seconds and older work. There was a town-wide yard sale going on and I thought I'd take advantage of the traffic. I was selling my stuff CHEAP. So cheap that I sometimes did not fully understand why someone would by one mug and be done. Okay, I am kind of embarrassed to say how cheap, but I was selling almost all my mugs, cups and bowls for 1$. Yes, 1. I just want to get rid of it. So I set up at noon, and sold till 3:30 and made 158$. I wish I had set up in the morning because I think I would have unloaded a lot more. I was kind of depressed about the whole thing though. One, I hate devaluing my work like that. It was de-moralizing for me, and as I thought about it through the sale, I worried that I was de-valuing my work, or pottery in general in the publics eye as well. I really want to get rid of this stuff though as it mentally keeps me down. I want to move forward, and when the past is staring you in the face . . .

When I talked to Adam about it later he said that I shouldn't take it personnally, that yard-salers are bottom feeders. As someone who is not above stopping at a yard sale occasionally, I don't subscribe to that theory, but I do think he was correct when he said that when people go out yard-saling they have a certain mindset about them. They are scrounging for a deal. The five dollar T.V. that they think is worth 300 as he said. Unfortunately they might not appreciate that they are holding a 1 dollar pot worth twent-five. So if I market my work in an evironment of cheapness, and sell it cheaply, I shouldn't be too surprised when I feel like shit about it. Oh well.

Diggin' it

Here's a little jar. This is the same glaze combo as the small plate I put up a few days ago. I really like this combo together, which is good because I have a five gallon bucket full of the lighter glaze because I was trying to make half that much, but made it way to thin, and so to fix it I made another batch of dry and mixed together.


I hope I didn't already post this plate. I guess I'll find out in a minute. A little ring action going on. Diggin' it.

I just don't really have anything else much to say. I'll be spending the next three work days glazing again, firing on Thursday. I have enough bisque that I think I can get two more firings, and then it's back to making pots again.

Boozin' it

I dropped off my first review shipment today. I left twelve pieces, the photos here are three of them, snapped in this mornings manic photo frenzy. I'm actually pretty happy with the photo above of the oval.

This photo has a little too much reflection on it. It washes the color out a little.

This one came out really sweet too. I stopped at the camera shop in Concord and the bulbs I need are 20$ a piece and I just can't swing it, especially with my new mop purchase. So I stopped at Lowes and got some full spectrum compact florescents to try. If they don't cut it then I will have to spring for the other bulbs.

So after a pretty crazy day of unloading, analyzing, pricing, packing and driving and a aftermath of carnage at my house as a result, I am eating some dinner and drinking a very large martini with some fresh mango in it. I call it a martini, but it's just vodka in a glass with mango. My friend, locally famous Bob King is playing tonight at the Common Man. So I will try to have only this one martini so I can go listen later. Good night and good luck.