Tuesday, January 20

Day 1

Well, first I want to say thankyou to everyone for all the good thoughts. It's definitely a messed up situation, and I am not the greatest at separating my public and private life, so hope it's not too awkward for anyone. I am here now, and after less than 24 hours know I have to get out soon. It's really hard for me, and I would imagine most, not to have my own space. I am also a bit of a minimalist, and my parents are kind of maximumalist, and so I am feeling a little claustrophobic. I am grateful for the space, but also know I can not last long here. I wish the room I am in were a sanctuary, and they did the best they could moving stuff out of it so I could move into it, but it's a bit like living in a tetris game where all the pieces are just barely separated, everything hits something else if you open it, and I keep hitting my feet on the stuff under the bed if I step too close to it. My mother, although well intentioned, keeps trying to pay for everything I need to buy. She even just offered to give me cash before I left. Just cash, in case I needed some cash. Eye-yi-yi. On the upside, I am sitting in a nice warm coffee house, after a chilly couple of hours humping for a job. I handed out about 15 resumes and will be back tomorrow to leave more. There are well over a hundred and fifty restaurants in the Portland area, at least I think, so lots of options, but limited hiring. It is a really great area though. I love the energy, and although I have left the mountains, I am less than 15 minutes from the ocean. But still, I keep thinking of Adam and often wishing he were here to share things with me. I do miss him. Oh well. Hopefully it's for the best, or else it's just another big mistake I've made in my life. Again, thank you everyone for reading and for being interested in what's going on.

10 comments:

tsbroome said...

Hey! The panda bear video up on my blog is for you! Hope you get a little smile from it. You know, I've been married for 24 years (OMG!) and there have been some really rough patches in there, but somehow we always worked things out. I really hope things work out for you! It's sad to hear that you are thinking of Adam...

Ron said...

Hey, Good luck with the job search and the transition with the move. I bet you find something. I know about 'well intentioned' parents. Sometimes it can feel totally smothering, or like maybe they feel I have no idea what I'm doing (at least in my case) (And sometimes I don't/didn't) But it's hard for me to accept that help sometimes. Anyhow, I'll be checking in and thinking about you.

Deborah Woods said...

Thank you both for your thoughts. And thanks for the panda bear video. That was pretty funny and I needed a little laugh.

Linda Starr said...

Best of luck with the job search and the transition, I know firsthand the job search isn't easy. Hang in there.

Patricia Griffin said...

Change, change, change. You've been through a lot of it and it sounds hard. I hope you're cutting yourself a lot of slack. Bet you're getting all kinds of advice, so I won't add to the pile. Am thinking of you and wishing you good things,

cookingwithgas said...

baby steps- baby steps- and deep breathing-

Anonymous said...

Transition can be tough. Have you checked out Artspace? They have a live/work building in Portland. It is great for artist's who are between "where I've been" and "not sure where I'm going next."

Clay Perry said...

sounds tough, the human spirit can overcome most anything, hang in there...

Deborah said...

I did not know about Artspace. I'll have to give it a look. I stopped into Portland Pottery today and was looking at their board to see what they had for rental space in the area, but it's kind of like, apartment or studio. Hmmm, what to choose?

www.jeffmartinceramics.blogspot.com said...

studio, sleep under slab table. easy one for me..sending positive vibes your way